‘The Three Core Conditions of a Coaching Relationship’ – Congruence

In my last Blog on the ‘Three Core Conditions of a Coaching Relationship’, I discussed ‘Unconditional Positive Regard’ as being one of the three core conditions of a successful coaching relationship as defined by Carl Rogers (1) who suggested employing this, along with ‘Congruence’ and ‘Empathy’ as being the other vital ingredients that determine the quality of any therapeutic or coaching relationship.

Let us consider the third of these core conditions; ‘Congruence’. The Cambridge University Dictionary describes congruent as being “similar to or in agreement with something, so that the two things can both exist or can be combined without problems: for example, if our goals are congruent; there is no conflict”. In geometry congruent angles measure the same.

Some might reject the geometric view as the coach and coaches may not, from the outset be ‘measuring the same’. The Cambridge Dictionary definition may help here as it suggests that the two things may not be the same, but “can both exist without problems”. The suggestion is that when success is achieved in the relationship then “congruence” occurs.

Some may substitute “genuineness” for congruence; meaning that you act in accord with your values and belief system, seeking to be real and genuine in your interactions with others. This approach may require ‘movement’ from either coach or coachee (or both) which then results in congruence.

Which ever definition you choose, it is that meeting of minds that allows the energy between the parties to flow back and forth without hindrance thus adding to the quality of that relationship.

(1) Carl Rogers was an American psychologist and among the founders of the humanistic approach to psychology.


About adob4sight

I am a coach, facilitator, and coach supervisor who works with key decision makers in business as well as private individuals, helping them maximise performance at work or in their lives outside the workplace. At 4sight Communications we work predominently with individuals in a one-to-one relationship facilitating the adaption of behaviours and attitudes to improve performance. Particular areas around which assistance is sought are: communications, leadership, relationships, work/life balance, addressing change and conflict, time management, goal setting and clarifiation of values. We also conduct team facilitation and coaching for middle ranking and senior teams of up to 10 persons. We are qualified to administer and interpret a series of psychometric assessments - ranging from 'personality profiling' to measuring an individual's 'mental toughness quotient'. All assessments are followed up with one-to-one sessions clarifying and facilitating areas indentified for development. One of the psychometrics used can be adapted for the recruitment of senior staff with the organisation able to input criteria for a particular post. We have qualified coaching supervisors who will provide a service for both professional coaches as well as 'internal company' coaches to ensure that not only the coach his/herself is properly developed, but also the interests of the client/coachee are served and ethics are adhered to. If you are interested in any of the 'above', get in touch !
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